And in the end…

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So since I haven’t used this LJ in forever and have no real use for it anymore, it might as well be a good time to call it quits here. My 2 LJ friends both have Facebooks anyway.

It’s sad what happened over at PokeCommunity. P*A put me on her ignore list (???) after I stopped posting there. I posted one post that I really wanted to see the end of her fanfic, but she didn’t see it as a result. It’s a real shame, because I did everything I could to save our friendship. I wrote her a letter back in March, admitting I was totally and completely wrong for my past behavior, and asking for forgiveness. I didn’t hear back from her until I e-mailed her a couple months later, wondering if she received the Sabrina pic I sent her, autographed by Lisa Ortiz. Apparently for whatever reason, she chose not to forgive me.

One of the biggest things in this world is forgiveness. If you don’t choose to give it, you will not receive it yourself. And it’s plain and obvious that each and every one of us needs forgiveness, because none of us is perfect. No matter what religion you are or are not part of, these are still basic truths. Marriages, relationships and friendships all depend on forgiveness. If you’re going to hold things against others, all it is going to do is build up more and more until it consumes your life.

I’m not going to even ask what exactly she’s mad about still, for all I know she could be angry just over my fanfics. Regardless, it’s clear that she has chosen the path of bitterness, and it’s a dangerous path. I guess at this point all I have to realize is that there’s nothing I can do to change her mind. I’ve given all I can give, I’ve tried all I can try. If she wants to forgive me, I am more than happy at any time to communicate again. I have already forgiven her and don’t hold anything against her at all.

So I guess that’s how it goes. There’s nothing in here that I didn’t basically say in my letter to P*A, so I’m fine with her seeing this. I guess I truly am the type of person who could commit suicide and no one would care. Oh well, what else is there to say? “It all returns to nothing, it all comes tumbling down, tumbling down, tumbling down…”

Tekkoshocon VIII

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Tekkoshocon VIII

Tekkoshocon VIII was technically a four-day convention, but I only went to the final three days of it. And it nearly was only a two-day con for me after what happened Saturday night.

Friday:

I got stuck in traffic and ended up showing up a little later than I had expected, but not too late to miss anything. In fact, there was nothing to do but talk with friends Brian, Erika and John for the first two hours or so. John, who caught that I was accidentally given a Friday badge instead of a weekend badge, got me to enter the AMV room for the only time of the weekend, but then it was time to wait in line for the dealers’ room.

Normally I don’t buy anything until I’m about halfway through the dealers’ room, at which point I find something really good. This time, at the first anime-selling dealer I bought a fat Pen-Pen plushie, then proceeded to walk only a little further down and buy a fat Alphonse Elric plushie, then bought a crazy-looking Kisuke Urahara plushie at the next dealer. I was down $65 before you could blink an eye. After that I became much more prudent with my spending and followed my unwritten rule of dealers’ rooms: only buy Haruhi merchandise. I bought my second Haruhi pillow (the first I got at Colossalcon last year) before leaving.

Then I went to Primanti Brothers to eat a Primanti sandwich for the first time in my life. You have to understand, this is a Pittsburgh thing. You get these sandwiches with a ton of French fries on the sandwich itself. I got an angus steak & cheese, and it may have changed my life. That very well may have been the best sandwich I’ve ever eaten. Unbelievable. Oh, and I was at this downtown restaurant in full Aizen cosplay. Way to stick out.

Afterward I was getting sleepy, so I stopped in an InuYasha panel for a long time. It was nice and informative, talking about The Final Act without giving away too many spoilers. After getting some caffeine it was off to Panels 101 where an intense panelist taught us how to do panels the right way in a no-nonsense style.

I’m scratching my head trying to remember what I did after that. I’m thinking I went to Artists’ Alley and asked for my Queen Yoruichi commission, and also bought a couple more Haruhi things. Then came the Bleach photoshoot, where I put up with some Grimmjows giving me the finger. It was a pretty fun photoshoot actually, and this time there were no open-mouth yuri kisses a la Matsuricon, but that’s because we had no Yoruichi or Soi Fon, we were mainly Hueco Mundo people.

I met the voice of Envy from Fullmetal Alchemist in a very short visit before going to Vic Mignogna’s Q&A. He’s a really good guy, let me tell you. I bought all 6 of his albums to try to support him, since they were only $10 each. I stopped into some dreadful panel where everyone tried to outdo each other in making jokes, then escaped that panel and went to the Eyeshine concert. Eyeshine has a female bass guitarist named Crystal, and she’s beautiful. More on her later.

Saturday:

I went with my sister who dressed as Meilin while I dressed as Li from Cardcaptor Sakura. We arrived later than we hoped thanks to the parkway literally shutting down on our way there. Once we got there, we wasted a bit of time before I picked up my Queen Yoruichi commission. It’s really awesome, lots of work and detail put into it. We then went to the Bleach Character FAQ.

The Bleach FAQ was pretty funny, although too IchiRuki-biased and some jokes (Grimmjow liking catnip?) didn’t make much sense. We immediately went from there to the Charity Auction, where VA Carrie Savage got people to pay more and more for items by saying stuff like “If you go up to $50, I’ll tell you a really cute story!” Someone actually bid $80 on a signed postcard. Meanwhile, the much-hyped T-shirt with all the bands at the con signing them went for a mere $35, because she didn’t do that auction.

We went to Vic Mignogna’s concert, and he was pretty good. I think he was worth spending the $60 on. There we saw something called “Fullmetal Fantasy,” a live-action Fullmetal Alchemist short. The storyline was pretty basic (Vic plays a guy who turns into Ed Elric, but “it was all just a dream”), but still entertaining. After that we went to the Eyeshine acoustic concert, where I stared at Crystal half the concert. They’re even good acoustic, let me tell you, very good band.

Kyle Hebert’s Q&A turned into a “how to become a voice actor Q&A” which I’ve sat through too many times. After that we sat in line for nearly 2 ½ hours to get the autographs for Johnny Yong Bosch and Derek Stephen Prince, Ichigo and Uryu’s VAs respectively. My sister was tired, so we decided we’d go home after that.

We got to our car in the parking garage and my sister asked “is that Grandma’s car?” (as we took her car for the con) It indeed was, with its bumper almost entirely ripped off. So I called home for my parents to pick us up as well as the Pittsburgh police. The Pittsburgh police somehow couldn’t find the parking garage to the convention center and took an hour to get there. Not only are they incompetent, the police officer was also mean. I’ll never trust the Pittsburgh police for anything after this experience. After he left, a Link cosplayer spent a half hour helping us rip off the bumper to the car, as that was the only way we were going to get it home (the bumper was going to have to come off anyway). My parents suddenly had a negative opinion of the police and a positive opinion of cosplayers after that. We didn’t get home until almost 2 in the morning.

Sunday:

My sister was too tired, so I went myself as Li again. I immediately got Kyle Hebert’s autograph on my new Aizen plushie before seeing Eyeshine in the hall on the way back. I walked up to Crystal and told her I had a crush on her, so she gave me a hug. Yeah, a nice warm and fuzzy experience there.

I went to the Mari Iijima concert, where embarrassingly less than 50 people showed up. It was heartbreaking for her, as she felt really sad about the poor turnout. Nevertheless, she put on the best concert of the convention, as she was clearly the most talented performer there. The girl next to me sang along and cried during one song. In fact, I was sitting in between her (the girlfriend of the con chair for Colossalcon) and the three top people in charge of Tekkoshocon, including the con president, in the front row, center. I should have never gotten such good seats, which is a shame that so few people showed up. She deserved to have that place packed, she’s so good.

After that came closing ceremonies, where everyone found out that Tekkoshocon got about 3500 attendees, which is almost exactly the same as last year. That really hurts the con, as they expected to be over 4000. So the con is back on life support again. Nevertheless, it will live on.

The best part about this con was getting to cosplay with my sister on Saturday. It wasn’t quite as good of a con as last year, but it was still very good. At least Tekkoshocon lives, and at least their guests managed to show up.

How to ruin anime

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Simple. Be forced to watch it with a couple kissing in the same room, and the guy occasionally making stupid comments. That’s what went on tonight for my viewing of FMA: Brotherhood. Not that the episode was any good. Still, my sister’s boyfriend doesn’t have the courtesy to allow me to watch one of the two shows I watch a week in peace. I have to watch it upstairs thanks to cable problems, where I can only get Cartoon Network on the living room TV. However, he has to be over our house past midnight, which is ridiculous. After two straight weeks of ruining FMA for me, I’ve just about had it with him. I mean, come on, you don’t have to be with my sister after midnight, there’s just no reason for that.

My life IS cursed

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I’m a complete failure. Not only have I failed to even come close to completing any of my goals for this year, but I’ve kept on making the same mistakes I’ve been making for years now. And because of that, I’m being punished. I found out today that my entire Tekkoshocon experience has been ruined. Because of that, I’m hoping to get my money back, though fat chance that’s going to happen, especially considering that I got scammed for $100 by some company and can’t get my money back there. My life is wallowing out of control again and there’s no hope for it to be brought back to a good place again. It’s hopeless. I’m just about ready to end it all, but I’m Shinji Ikari, too pathetic to even commit suicide. So don’t worry, I’m not going to kill myself, I’m just going to keep on living the worthless life I lead.

I stink at writing

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NaNoWriMo? How about like writing a novel in a year, because I can’t even do that. I wrote 4 chapters of my novel, then got writer’s block and haven’t touched the story for a month. The story is set in 2013, giving me 3 years to finish the story, but still. This is pathetic. I wish you could write just using your mind. I get so many ideas while I’m lying down trying to sleep, I play the story in my mind like a movie. But when it actually comes to writing, I just can’t do it.

And then there’s a fanfic I want to write. I’ve written the title – that’s it. I can’t even get the first line. Why? Why am I so pathetic? Am I that lazy? Are there too many temptations, such as video games? I don’t know. I promised myself I’d start after the Super Bowl, but here I am, failing miserably again.

Writer’s Block: A rose by any other name …

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I chose this name when I had to come up with some sort of nickname for submitting stories to a site known as Lemmy’s Land (http://www.lemmykoopa.com). I didn’t want to use my real name, and I wanted to use a name to describe myself. I almost used the name “Roy Brown,” a fictional character I created over 15 years ago, but this name has been sweet because I’ve been able to use it as my username anywhere I want on the Internet.